i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
