Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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