i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
