I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
