well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
