coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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