It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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