"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
