I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
