Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
