seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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