1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
