If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
