paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
it hurts more in the daytime
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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