I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
