so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
