You surviving the open bar?
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He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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