I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just want nice things and good sex
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
