WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I am mentally ready for anal.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
