i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
