All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
