I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Randomize
