She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
