The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
third nipple confirmed
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
