guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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