:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
