I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
