It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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