I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
