i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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