it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Bring me that man meat
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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