i think my mom watched the whole time
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
