Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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