If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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