theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
