So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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