Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
