I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
This toilet bowl is my home.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
