my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
