i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
