when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
