Little spoons don't ask big questions
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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