and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
