The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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