He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
