I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
