chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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