I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
