I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Randomize
