I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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