found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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