I want to have your abortion
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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