Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
