I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize